It’s been over a month since my mother passed, a week since saying goodbye to my family, and all but 10 hours since breaking my 4 day water fast secluded in my one room apartment looking for the answers to life and happiness. While I’m sure I will cover the revolations of the past few weeks I think now is an important time to start documenting my search for truth, if only for the fact that I believed I found it last night and it is now all but a glimmering beacon in the distance. I was there, I was so close I could feel the answers to life on the tip of my tongue just waiting to escape and breath new life into this yet undiscovered existence I’m leading. But it is quickly fading.
What I cannot ignore is that during these last few days I have felt more connected with myself then ever. Thoughts were no longer thoughts but truths. Dreams were no longer dreams but realizable goals. Life was no longer out there in the big world, it was within me. So I should find it important this morning to say what I felt last night so as to not forget the truths I learned, the dreams I had, and the life I sought for so long.
Tags: Depression, Search for truth, Self doubt
